HELPLESS "WE"

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"WE" the INNOCENT..."YOU"R CHILDREN...helpless in the hands of "THEY" the DEVIL!! "THEY" are ready to disgrace our lives...ready to take away everything "YOU" have given us...THIS LIFE ITSELF!! Why can't "YOU" strike and counterstrike on these merciless pests,who create mayhem on earth,taking the shape of "us"? Why can't "YOU" annihilate this curse of mankind before they take innocent lives,at will, like this? What good,is it for "YOU" to let these devil incarnates rape,rule and disobey what "YOU" have given us...??This life!!!

Over the past 2 days i am really really very tensed with the safety of my relatives,my friends,my colleagues in mumbai...some of whom were saved by providence,some injured,some shocked....but some KILLED TOO!! Here i ask "YOU"....if "YOU" are the ruler,if "YOU" are the almighty,if "YOU" have created and controlled everything since the birth of life and beyond.....then who are these "THEY" who dare to challenge "YOU" and even win over "YOU"?? Does that mean the END is very near??? Does that ominously signify that "YOU" are losing??? Does that make "US" mere toys in the hands of these dirty,morbid "THEY"??

ANSWER ME....I AM WAITING....SO ARE THOSE MILLIONS WHO ARE GRIEVED AND SHOCKED AND ANGRY AT YOUR INACTIVITY AND WEAKNESS!! PLEASE DON'T BE DIPLOMATIC...BE HONEST...THE HELPLESS "WE" REALLY NEED TO EVALUATE THE REAL STATUS OF THEIR LIVES AND DEATH!!

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My dearest Pat Da!!

2006...i first worked with you..in an uttam kumar classic.."bilombito loy" reprise....a brief encounter of two days...didn't have the time to settle down for a rendezvous!! 

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2008..14 june..."rajpoth" launched...we both were playing maternal cousins....you..rahul..me...nikhil...started meeting almost everyday...started interacting with you...exchanged ideas...had private parties...chatted up...worked together in tandem....last time i worked with you was on 4th october..2008...mohapanchami....you alarmingly yellow with jaundice....got your frantic calls during pujas about your high temperature....couldn't meet you during that time..assuring myself that you were in proper hands....suddenly on the 14th i heard you are admitted in kothari medical centre....i rush to see you....taking special permission, for you were in the I.T.U....where non-medical people are not allowed...but strangely i was,among the very few outsiders!!..i thank my stars because i wouldn't have talked with you for the last time otherwise...wouldn't have cried at seeing your alarming state...couldn't have kissed your palm and said that.."you said that you are a phoenix bird pat-da..you have to survive".....i started frequenting the hospital...never to see or talk with you again..as your condition kept deteriorating....you being put in ventilation...and then on 7th november 2008...i get a call at 8 am from moumitadi that you are no more.....i rush to see you for the last time....see you in your eternal sleep..smiling your princely smile...i follow you to your home...then to the crematorium..where i left you all alone by yourself to travel to the other world....me driving as fast and far as i could...and crying all my tears out in wildnerness.....!!! As i entered the make up room today....i could feel your presence everywhere..your voice resonating....you giving me a hug...you appreciating my work..you sharing your food...you asking me to let you sleep on my lap.....you smiling...joking...keeping the make up room alive....i cry again..probably i will for the rest of my life..because i do not care what anyone may say about you...but me being one of your truest friend and brother knew your clean soul...golden heart...warmth...grief...aspirations...!! i am heavy today...so are many of your friends..rest assured....i have kept you in your favourite corner of your make up room...smiling jovially..as you always did....you have not left us pat-da..you have travelled...may you find peace THERE!! i love you a lot!!

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End of KHELA

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Khela is ending on the 12th july 2008 on Zee Bangla!!One feels really strange and void that one will not shoot as dr shurjo sen any more.it pains!!one feels as if a family is breaking down!! i still remember 23rd november 2006,the first day i was called up by the associate director,mr.biswajit ganguly on the advice of mr.ravi ojha to ask me to screen-test for khela!! one remembers his first day of shoot with tumpa and mr deepankar de!! i knew i had to strike a chord i have been wanting to strike,for the last 6 years,since i have been approaching mr ravi ojha and mr anindyo banerjee(associate director of ek akasher niche)on the sets of ek akasher niche!! i felt like a new person after dr.shurjo sen was created,enacted and telecasted!! on professional front though,one was/still is,a bit bitter as khela really and strangely didn't open up all doors infront of me with great offers(inspite of this thumping success,great feedbacks from the industry,press and the channel)but the continuous barrage of encouraging feedbacks in public places,in and out of kolkata, emails, letters, telephone calls,scraps on orkut etc. from my fans,friends and relatives, gave me the extreme creative satisfaction that no award or offer could give me!! every passing day,for the last 2 years, when i refused many offers, as i didnt want to do anything inconsequential after khela,i felt a bit worried if i was right at refusing them,but "smack" came these simply astounding feedbacks from completely unknown people...and by feedbacks i don't mean the mundane-"APNAKE KHUB BHALO LAGE" or "AMI REGULAR KHELA DEKHI"!!completely unknown people have come up to me and commented on dr.shurjo sen with so much genuine emotions that i was taken aback!i was completely surprised to find out the concentration and depth with which these viewers watched my character in khela and with so much minute details,which i thought was impossible in a medium like television,which is ruled by a very vociferous weapon in the viewer's hand-THE REMOTE CONTROL!! i started to believe in myself and my work and felt that "yes"i have connected... inspite of no official recognitions, nominations or awards...(rather neglect and unwanted insult instead)... i prepared myself to wait for something better and different and i can tell u..waiting can be very very very taxing and dangerous!!i thank everyone of my friends who has supported me unconditionally and liked my work immensely,again,without whom i would have been very very frustrated at not getting my dues!! i still have a long way to go.i have left every damn thing in life,right from a secured,wealthy life of a marine engineer to a very very very very hard and insecured life of an actor(many feel that glamour and respect as an actor comes very easily!!)..it was done with a calculated risk in mind...so here i am,with full of hope and possiblities and waiting for another stepping stone which will take my aspirations to prove myself,ahead!! will it be "rajpoth"????or a film??? who knows???

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Youth losing their sense of respect towards elders?

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Thanx a lot to shantanu and sucheta for their comments. yes shantanu i feel at times that this younger generation is loosing their sense of respect towards the elders.but we the elders are to be blamed for it.we are letting them do so.don't you read the multiple incidents when the school and college teachers are attacked by parents and relatives of the students who are punished???i think we are heading to a dangerous future..towards extinction!!it will be a full circle when this society will live in the jungles once more!! ya sucheta..i really hope that whatever you have wished, comes true.Of all the experiences i have been gathering in my life..one thing is clear,a person is not respected for his good qualities as a humanbeing...he is respected for what he or she has materially achieved in life,by whatever means possible!!But i prefer to achieve it by my merits solely..!!

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Me

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At this moment my minds tickling me to write about me as a humanbeing!!Who am i?Where did i come from?Where am i going?What is all this that i am gaining?What have i lost?Why do i cry?Why do i laugh?Why have i fallen in love?What has love taught me?........anyone who can give me these answers will be the one with whom i shall share,what kind of humanbeing i am!!

Blog 1 Official

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Hi everyone...though i have been

writing for a long time in other blogs of mine but i think this will be the official one for the actor in me!!People often ask me on interviews,parties,orkut as to why and how could i leave my precious job as a marine engineer and jump into this insecurity!!i often answer "my heart said so"...true..very very true..but along with that there were many many incidents which destiny had placed side by side during that time and ensure that i make myself sure not to take the next ship!!

6 years down the line,with my share of being insulted and praised,here i am still fighting to prove myself ,in a world that does not give you credit even if it is due!a world where insulting someone is the "in" thing!!a world where neglecting someone is a "done" thing!! a world where almost everyone seems to forget their roots!!

But everything said and done i am really priviledged to have this great great support,unconditional love from my friends of all ages at orkut who have given me lots of love and encouragement when my industry thought otherwise about my merits!!my heartiest thanks to all of them!!

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Over the years i have gained friendship and affection of people in the indsutry who have morally supported me,given me that pure warmth from their heart which this world, mostly filled with artificial,high nosed people, lacks!!

in future blogs to come i will vividly describe and narrate my journey as an actor(if i may call myself)among all the acclaimed and famous and "well behaved" human beings inside and outside this industry!!