UNEXPLAINED.......

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Something very very strange happened recently.

I had lost a cousin of mine some 17 years ago in an accident.He was very very attached to me.His death was a shock to me!At one point of time i was shattered!

 Very recently came across someone,who is 17 years of age and who looks uncannily similar to him!!

 That's not all,even he has lost his brother,his own brother, some years ago!!

As elated as i am,as if i had found my lost brother again,after nearly 2 decades,I ponder perturbed...is this another form of re-incarnation...or am I becoming too filmy...???

Whatever it is,I can feel 'Chottu' around me,nowadays,whispering..."Dadabhai..I am here...back with you...again"!!

Time and only time will explain the unexplained...till then...more mystery in this universe...!

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The maniac benefactor!

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A strange Incident happened recently. While i was driving to my shoot early morning,i had to take a u-turn. I saw a gentleman crossing the road without any care of the traffic around. Eyes fixed downwards he was walking like a zombie. The signal was green and though i saw him walking without any care,i was sure that he will definitely stop at the continuous honking of my car. But he didn't stop! He just didn't stop! I slowed down as fast as i could,but couldn't avoid a slight touch with him,by which he was disbalanced and fell. I went out of my car and helped him to stand up. On asking whether he had been hurt or not and why was he walking so carelesslessly,he suddenly changed his mood and became angry! In the mean time a large crowd had assembled to see the fun....some readily understanding the gentleman's mistake and there were those troublemakers who found this opportunity lucrative enough and asked me to take the gentleman to the hospital or shell out Rs 10K!!! Now the man who was supposedly hurt by that feather touch was too eager to leave all this and started walking! I insisted him to come along with me to the hospital if he was rreally hurt! But he was just too fit and fine to come along and afraid i guess when he recognized me by face! But here is the most interesting part....in comes a half naked mad man with dirt all over,chewing a packet of puffed rice or murri,smelling like a garbage vat,hair unkempt...heavily unshaved....and gives a kick on the rear door! I really didn't know how to react! I asked him to move,to which he retorted....."Tv te dekha jay bole khub roab na?...gari bhenge debo!!"......i thanked my stars to imagine that i could reach to this mentally unstable person too,living on the road....at the same time i was concerned with my safety...my car's safety....i knew that one blow from my part in self defence wouldn't be welcomed by the opportuniity seeking crowd who were having a gala time. Next the man started dancing infront of the car....wanted to jump on the bonnet...where i had to stop him! Thankfully a traffic surgeon ,forcefully moved Rambo out of my way and helped me out of this situation,which was irritating,precarious,suffocating yet very funny! I really couldn't find that man who was to be taken to hospital or for whom i was asked to shell out 10K! I really appeal to all in a vehicle or on road to be careful....it is beyond my comprehension as to why one should block his/her ears and attention with an ipod or fm radio earplugs while driving,riding,walking or crossing the road! Such a situation puts an innocent person into a lot of trouble who is taken unawares by these careless people on road or in a vehicle! Rarely do you come across harassment with entertainment like this cameo from the mad man!!

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SANGRAMJEET MOITRA

RUPASHI BANGLA-MONDAY-SATURDAY-7PM,1130PM,12PM NEXT DAY


It has been 7 months since the daily soap, AALOR BASHA is on air@ RUPASHI BANGLA…where I play this very interesting negative character called SANGRAMJEET MOITRO…..or SANGRAM….as people are calling me now…some with love but mostly with hatred….and contempt….and I am enjoying all the calls… IMMENSELY!!
>


Of my 9 years of being an actor,I do understand now, that very rarely does an actor in a daily soap,get a chance to have as many shades of evilness, smartness, cunningness, riproaring comedy,drama,violence etc. packed into one!! More often than not one finds the characters one dimensional, like the other character I am playing at this moment, of this very upright middleclass gentleman named CHINMOY RAY in SHEDIN DUJONE@ STAR JALSA.

Before SANGRAM was offered to me by TSARKAR PRODUCTIONS(TSPL)….talks were on and almost confirmed, for a very violent and dark character in another daily soap named MUKHOSH MANUSH …which got delayed due to various reasons!! I was really raring to go for a 360 degree turnaround after playing the goodie goodie mamma’s boy, KANISHKA in OBS…and not being able to be a part of MUKHOSH MANUSH,even after a new production house backing it, was a big setback mentally, for a moment!!





But then as I always believe “there is something very good in everything that’s very bad”….SANGRAM happened…..!!



Actually I am indebted to TSPL to offer me this role and to offer me my first big screen appearance @ ANGSHUMANER CHHOBI too!
7 months down the line SANGRAM today, is emerging to be a character to watch out for!!




I have always told myself that more than the feedbacks from the people within one’s unit,who are naturally biased,it is the the feedback from viewers beyond the studio and the unit, that matters the most….one gets an inkling of how good one is performing and how is the character being received by the audience…..and by the feedbacks I am getting online offline,by phone,smss,in public …I really am encouraged to believe SANGRAM is being loved and hated at the same time!!!!!



Who is SANGRAM a a person? How is he as a person?… It has often been asked by my friends who love to watch this grey character!….


Well…SANGRAM is all crooked, up there! He comes from an affluent joint family!He is a realtor by profession. Didn’t care much about studies as he was too much dipped in the dream to be a rich powerful man…ofcourse by shortcut!! I guess he has the deceptive gene from his corrupt father who is a bank manager!
He has a medical history of nervous disorder,violent mood swings,for which he was once prescribed to be admitted under psychiatric care,but wasn't due to the insistence of is Mejka,who loves Sangram more than his own son!!



He has been married…to the wrong girl ,according to him…he doesn’t quite like the mild,meek temperament of his wife DIPA…and has no feelings for her…even if she is expecting their first baby! For him…as because he is earning money and providing for her,she should dare not encroach on his privacy,even if that is womanizing in the same house infront of her eyes!!… Typical MCP….an evil,over ambitious,money-hungry MCP…a dangerous combination!!




He doesn’t care about MEJKA who loves him and trusts him blindly as his business partner…and doesn’t even think twice to deceive him!He tries his best,not to include DEV,a professor,who is MEJKA’s son,in the business! Unscrupulous to the core!!


He is a compulsive liar…a very believable one!…he is cunning.. calculative...ill tempered… violent…but disguises them by his gentle appearance! He can go to any extent to achieve money and power…to what extent?…that is the question!!

What is it like to play a very dark character like SANGRAM?
Of all the popular characters I have played till date since JOJO in EKDIN PRATIDIN…
NIKHIL in RAJPOTH

and SANGRAM in AALOR BASHA are the ones I really challenged myself….! That is because DR SHURJO SEN in KHELA
and KANISHKA in OBS
and now CHINMOY in SHEDIN DUJONE,
were a lot like me in many aspects…if not in all! It was easier for me to become them…..but the former ones were a far far far cry from what I could ever remotely become as a humanbeing!! Therein lies the challenge…..to become someone who I am not….and SANGRAM excels in that challenge! There is something in that get up of SANGRAM! The moment I am in it… the mind bends toward darkness!! I am enoying every moment of being SANGRAM…an the very fact that a very white character of CHINMOY is one air,is making SANGRAM look even darker!

The night,9th May, when the scene,where SANGRAM had a big show down with his pregnant wife DIPA,was telecasted…the first call I got,was from MRS MAMATA SHANKAR!! MOMO di flattered me as SANGRAM to no ends …!! That encouraged me to march ahead with full force,with all the poison that SANGRAM has in him!



All these years of people asking me why I didn't qualify ever,for a single nomination anywhere,nominations being mysteriously cancelled at the last moment,people shamelessly asking money for nominations...let alone any award or ‘ ceremonial recognition’ if one may call it…are all meaningless in comparison with so much of love and continuous unconditional support from all my friends,all over the world! That is my nomination… my award…my OSCAR…my everything!! Want nothing more!! Have left everything in life for this!! No money or manipulated award snatching, can equal that!!i feel indifferent towards all this dirt!! Any of the so called ‘awards’ that may or in all probability may not come to me in future, will just be an icing on this lipsmacking cake of love and warmth that I cherish 24x7!

MA...MYSELF AND ICU!!

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Three decades ago a beautiful little girl named Sudipta Banerjee, who had just passed out of school, was married to Dr.Nityananda Chakraborty...

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5 years after that i was born,in a sprawling joint family. But when i was around 8years old,we three had to break off from there.Ma and Pa had to take this tough decision,to build up a nuclear family,but all for my better upbringing,which would have been totally impossible there.I really do not know if i have grown up into a good humanbeing or not,whether i have grown up at all or not,BUT THERE WAS NO LOOSE ENDS IN MA AND PA'S ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER,TO BRING ME UP SO,THROUGH GREAT SACRIFICES AND GREATER HARDSHIPS! All through my growing up years, i could feel their immense urge to make me a perfect humanbeing,more than anything else.I could feel their mammoth contribution in my life,on every bend.

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I could feel the selflessness of these two humanbeings and their greatness. I tried to find a way,all my life,to repay a fraction of what they have done for me and are still doing,but i guess that is impossible.PAYBACK IS/WAS/WILL BE A MYTH...BUT WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE IT A TRY...THROUGH THE GRIMMEST OF TIMES! It was 8th August,2010. It was just like any other regular Sunday. Thankfully i didn't have any shoot on that day. Ma had cooked absolutely yummy 'mustard hilsa',which we had for lunch with zest. Ma and Pa were to attend a family ceremony in the evening. They were getting prepared to set forth,when suddenly Ma felt an ache in her stomach! It was 3pm. We tried to treat it at first with some medication at home,but the pain increased to unbearable limit,when we decided to shift her to a local nursing home. Didn't realize then,that this 'shift' would shift the very stability of my life forever! We were very sure that it was nothing but an attack of stones in the gall bladder that would be cured by an ordinary laser treatment….but God had something more in store(oh!!that rhymed too!!). On the 3rd day the consulting surgeon,sensed something very very wrong with Ma,as she developed heavy breathing problems,acute shortage of oxygen,heavily fluctuating blood pressure,blood sugar gone for a toss at Eden Gardens..heavy sweating,the body turning to blue..royal blue,swelling of the whole body and she… constantly jabbering things which didn’t make any sense…with eyes popping out…she was unrecognizable overnight!! The surgeon requested us to shift her immediately to someplace with multispeciality amenities and a ventilator,as fast as possible! That we did and took her to one of the finest hospitals in Kolkata..KOTHARI MEDICAL HOSPITAL(atleast that is what, me and my people knew at that point of time...). She was admitted in the ICCU under DR.SABYASACHI PATTNAIK,

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who after seeing the very very serious condition, categorically asked me to be mentally prepared on August 14th, as… probably August 15th would be the end to it all,but he added that he and his team will give their best to save Ma…rest is on God! Ma was suffering from an attack of ACUTE PANCREATITIS,WITH A PORTION OF THE PANCREAS DEVELOPING NECROSIS(ROTTEN)AND MULTIORGAN FAILURE!!THE BRAIN, HEART,LUNGS,DIGESTIVE SYSTEM,KIDNEYS EVERYTHING HAD STOPPED FUNCTIONING AND THE SODIUM/POTASSIUM LEVELS IN THE BLOOD HAD GONE HAYWIRE,FOR A CERTAIN ‘MR.PANCREAS’ DOING ALL THE ANTICS!! SURELY THIS ‘MP’ RULED OUR LIVES THEN! On August 14th after I had that ‘EVENTFUL,FATEFUL’ chat with Dr.Pattnaik, I went to shoot some very vital,heavily emotional and comic scenes of the megaserial ‘Ogo Bodhu Shundori’ and cried my heart heart out in the make-up room,all alone…suddenly this thought struck me that AUGUST 15TH COULD BE ‘MY’ INDEPENDENCE DAY, FROM THE WARMTH AND CARE OF SOMEONE, WHOM I HOLD THE MOST VALUABLE PERSON IN MY LIFE…..AND THE IRONY OF LIFE WAS THAT,I WAS CELEBRATING IT, WITH A COMEBACK OF MY CHARACTER ‘KANISHKA’ IN THE MEGASERIAL IN A DIFFERENT LOOK ALL TOGETHER! While shooting that day,I realized,for the first time,how difficult it was to be someone else infront of the camera,when your body and mind are not insync!! But strangely those scenes remain to be, some of my best scenes in OBS,from my acting point of view,as pointed out by my ardent friend online, Ms.Trisha Mitra!! After the shoot was over latenight,I parked myself out of Kali Mandir,and cried infront of another of my Ma and asked her,implored her,begged her not to steal Ma away from me!! I really have so much in store ,still to do for Ma! Till now I had brought nothing but worries for her!! I couldn’t give her an extended family still!! I still couldn’t give her an answer of pride that I did a bloody right decision to leave the career of a marine engineer and took up an actor’s struggle!! Call it superstition but Strangely and SURELY something happened that night between me and MA KALI in that mandir…I could feel that she was speaking through her eyes…an awkward feeling..an overwhelming feeling that someone was all over my body,giving me solace….asking me to cool down and imploring me in return to give an attempt to save MA,my best shot…not to breakdown…because there is Pa back at home,whom I had to take care of too,who was crying everynight,on the verge of losing his soulmate of three decades!!MAY BE IT CAN BE REFUTED AS ALL THIS WAS JUST MY MENTAL STATE AT THAT POINT OF TIME…BUT BELIEVE ME,THERE WAS MORE TO IT THAN JUST ME CRYING INFRONT OF AN IDOL IN A MANDIR!!IT WAS A MIRACLE…IT WAS HEAVENLY!! I decided not to shed a single tear again from that point of time and from August 15th onwards started a battle ….long …corrupt …physical …mental …medical …political…FINANCIAL….with Ma on one side and Me on the other! I was a new man,as if someone had recharged my batteries,brainwashed me,told me “YOU WILL NOT LOSE HER!! BUT I WILL HELP YOU ONLY IF YOU HELP YOURSELF”. After that, many other doctors/nurses in the medical team said the same thing that the chances were very slight to save MA but I just didn’t believe them,didn’t feel like!!I knew that I will win….i just have to try…with all I have….after all this is my chance to do for Ma,who has done for me all her life!!I said “no” to nothing and did everything…EVERYTHING…that the doctors asked me to do…many a times feeling a ride…but went on with it!!I didn’t ask for anyone’s help…I am always like that…it gives me great pleasure to help myself but Thoughts occurred “what next, if the resources end,funds dry up,we may have to sell our property?”! I did express this anxiety to many friends and associates and funny things started happening….people whom I thought were friends just vanished in thin air…not even asking how MA was, as a formality!! Ha ha!! I am sure that they were afraid that I may ask for their help!! Good for me!! THIS MOMENTARY CURSE OF GOD WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE TO MAKE ME RECOGNIZE WHO MY TRUE FRIENDS,WELL WISHERS ARE, BOTH IN GOOD AND BAD TIMES!! Days passed by with sleepless nights and hectic days,along with my shoot,running around for medicines,blood,chasing doctors,arranging personal attendants….and the irony of it all was below in the reception area and other parts in the hospital, where people saw only ‘Kanishka’ in me and smiled at me,passed funny comments at me alias ‘Koko’,clicked pictures with me..etc.when I was fighting with my Ma’s life and mine too!! Daily expenses reached the sky and beyond, per day….! Things looked tougher! But I fought on…as if possessed…intoxicated with life to save Ma’s!! Every dawn as i would return from the hospital via Kali Mandir and as i would enter my home,the first thing that would strike me was a smell...the smell of Ma...everywhere...in every corner of the house! Every object had her touch! i would try to get some sleep, only to be waken up by Ma, calling me for help!! ACTUALLY THE EFFECT OF SOMETHING UNBEARABLE WAS IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS STATE OF MIND!IT WAS THE REGULAR,GHASTLY SIGHT OF MY EVER ACTIVE,CHEERFUL MA,BEING TIED UP TO HER BED...HANDS AND LEGS,VENTILATOR PIPES IN HER MOUTH,STRETCHING HER LIPS DOWNWARDS,NUMEROUS CHANNELS ALL OVER HER BODY,INNUMERABLE MARKS AND SCARS OF INJECTIONS ALL OVER...AND SHE,IN A DELIRIOUS,DISBALANCED STATE,ASKING ME FOR HELP...ASKING ME TO UNSHACKLE HER!! AT THAT MOMENT OF TIME,MY HEART BROKE INTO THOUSAND PIECES EVERY DAY..EVERY NIGHT!IT IS AN IMAGE OF BONDAGE WHICH WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER! The ICCU here was very strange,as to what i had thought or seen in previous hospitals. Here janitors spoke on top of their voices,cracking jokes in the mother tongue,medical personnels,especially the nurses are predominantly malayali,by birth and hence do not understand bengali...i shudder to imagine the state of the patients who are bengali by birth and in such critical state but cannot express themselves to the nurses!! The visiting hours are the funniest and soon the time to visit critical patients,become a leading fish market,with no control over the human traffic! Anyone and everyone can come anytime,forging his/her identity and visit the patients AND BY PATIENTS I MEAN,CRITICAL PATIENTS IN THE ICCU! A similar incident happened to Ma!!When we were there one evening,we heard that an obnoxious,repulsive,future medical personnel,known to us,visited Ma slyly in ICCU,in non-visiting hours(for reasons unknown),went through all the wrong records on a wrong bed,spread the news with all the wrong informations, that this buffoon had gathered, from the records of a different patient's record.....AND ALL WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION!! ......AND GOD HELP THOSE IN SUCH HOSPITALS WHO ARE HANDED PRESCRIPTIONS AFTER PRESCRIPTIONS AFTER PRESCRIPTIONS...DAILY....AMOUNTING TO THOUSANDS...AND THOUSANDS OF RUPEES....MANY A TIMES THE SAME MEDICINES AND OTHER STUFFS,OVER AND OVER AGAIN!! ONE FEELS EMOTIONALLY RAPED AT THESE MOMENTS WHEN ONE CANNOT OBJECT,EVEN IF ONE FEELS HE/SHE IS BEING DUPED BECAUSE THE LIFE OF HIS/HER NEAR AND DEAR ONES ARE IN THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO HAND THESE PRESCRIPTIONS,MANY OF WHOM ARE FAR FROM BEING HUMAN ANYMORE!! Slowly but surely and miraculously(as the doctors there said…Ma was a 1 in a 100000 cases to have survived!)Ma started responding to the gazillion amount of powerful intravenous antibiotics,dialysis,blood transfusions! She was 1/3rd the humanbeing she was 40 days before, by the time I brought her home before Durga Puja on 14th September…! (MA PA'S 25TH ANNIVERSARY) By that time the whole ordeal took a heavy toll on my body too and I fell seriously ill…serious viral attack…temperatures ranging as much as 104*F…extreme vitamin deficiency…dangerous cramps all over…dead weak…and 12 kgs lesser!! But the show must go on…and it went on…with all the good wishes of my friends online and their blessings! The people who came forward during this crisis,with their involuntary helping hands and encouragement and regular mental strength and for whom I will be obliged all my life are: DR.NITYANANDA CHAKRABORTY(PA) MRS SUSMITA BANERJEE(MY SISTER)MY BORDIBHAI MR NIHAR RANJAN BANERJEE(MY UNCLE) THE RAVI OJHA PRODUCTION MRS SUMITA BHATTACHARYA(MY ONE AND ONLY SUMITADI) MRS MOUMITA GUPTA(MY ONE AND ONLY MOUMITA DI) MR DIPANKAR BANERJEE(MY UNCLE) MR RAJAT BANERJEE(MY UNCLE) MS NILANTIKA BANERJEE(MY SISTER) MRS SHANTILATA BANERJEE(MY GRAND MA) MR AVIJIT SARKAR(MY BROTHER) MRS.DOLA SARKAR(MY SISTER-IN-LAW) DR.BASUDEB MUKHERJEE(MY ONE AND ONLY BD DA) BANCHHITA MASHI(MA’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND) And the rest of my family…. And ofcourse: MRS MAMATA SHANKAR (MY DEAREST AND ONE AN ONLY MOMO DI) MR CHANDRODAY GHOSH(MY DEAREST BAPIDA) And two of my left hand and right hand, who virtually grew up in my lap, NOW in their,bike riding car driving teens…my bachcha pyaonpyaons,who were there with me all the while,even if I didn’t want them to be with me and urged them to concentrate on their studies: ARJUN(MY BROTHER)MY ONE AND ONLY BABAI SAURAV(MY BROTHER)MY ONE AND ONLY RONNY And people from the hospital,a very difficult place,more difficult,when one is a media personnel and a known face and people try to extract the last dime one has and more often than not evaluate the screen persona rather than the actual humanbeing…they were the ones there,who stood by me in a very very tough situation and helped me in everyway possible,as if I belonged to their families: DR.SABYASACHI PATTNAIK DR.AJAY KUMAR PAL SISTER RIBHA SINHA SISTER SEEMA NANDI MRS JAYATI SANYAL(RECEPTION) Among others….. THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN DO, TO RETURN THEIR CARE AND LOVE AND SUPPORT TOWARDS ME IN THIS TOUGH PERIOD…EVERY GIFT ..EVERY NOTE OF THANKFULNESS IS INSIGNIFICANT…I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SELFLESS,GENUINE PEOPLE LIKE THEM STILL EXIST…THAT IS MY WAY OF SHOWING MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS THEM!!

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(MA-5years old) THOUGH I HAVE INNUMERABLE COMPLAINTS AGAINST THE HOSPITAL,THOUGH I HAD TO TAKE HUGE FINANCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL RISKS DURING THIS TIME,THOUGH I HAD TO GO THROUGH A SERIOUS PHYSICAL CONDITION MYSELF ETC. BUT WHAT MATTERS TO ME THE MOST,AT THIS MOMENT IS,.....ME AND MA ARE TOGETHER ONCE MORE AND ICU IS ONLY A HELLISH NIGHTMARE OF THE PAST! FEBRUARY 8TH---2011--SARASWATI PUJA--- MA WORE THE BLUE/WHITE DHAKAI SAREE THAT I WANTED HER TO WEAR FOR THE DURGA PUJA-OCTOBER 2010.... BUT AS SHE WAS BEDRIDDEN, SHE COULDN'T WEAR IT THEN AND I WASN'T SURE SHE WILL EVER WEAR IT!!!!... BUT GOD HAS BEEN KIND....

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MAN-WOMAN ...CO-EXISTENCE...

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A very important and interesting discussion has cropped up,after seeing the present state of the blooming male ego of Kanishka,in “Ogo Bodhu Shundori”….. “WILL MEN WILL ALWAYS BE MEN?”… “IS IT FAIR TO GENERALIZE ANY SEX OF BEING GOOD OR BAD,JUST BY ONE’S PERSONAL EXPERIENCE?”…. “IS THEIR THE HEAVENLY BEAUTIFUL,NATURAL LAW OF CO-EXISTENCE, STILL ALIVE AMONG THE IMPATIENT US, OF TODAY’S WORLD?” I have always believed…..thanx to my parents..men and women are made for each other(eke onner poripurok)…they cannot just exist without each other…that’s how He has made the rules in this wide world…and we are just mere minnows to defy that by trying to be chauvinists or autocrats! Man and Woman or Woman and Man..whichever was you put it are the essential elements to love, life, dreams, happiness, content, success, company, trust,belief and hope. No one,for me, is smaller or bigger…better or worse…more or less…everyone is equal…it’s just the basic nature of humanbeing varies,irrespective of the gender. So on one hand you can have a very brutal swine as a male dominator or you may have an evil sorceress as the female destructor…no one is perfect! I do understand and readily agree that women in the larger picture have been oppressed,in the past and still are….by men….but history has glorious examples all throughout the world too,where women have proved that they are no less than men AND history has it too,where men have thrown open their arms for co-existence and supported the cause for women empowerment! The scene in today’s world is more balanced as far as division of power between men and women is concerned. But…. it greatly saddens me when I do get vibes from men who look on all women with a degenerating,disgusting opinion. It saddens me when I do get vibes from women who look on all men with hatred as chauvinists and perpetrators! I strongly disapprove of this generalized,biased opinion of any gender,just going by one’s personal experience! There’s goodness still left within humanbeing…if one is the son/daughter of God..He will lead one to him/her who will be one’s true friend/partner and will teach one to co-exist,without any malice,any hatred,any prejudice…by not being a sexist! Woman-Man co-existence is the most ethereal ! I am deeply concerned with the alarming amount of break-ups in relationships…I am concerned with my very very close friends going through this same hellish mode! I am concerned with marriage becoming a farce….the institution becoming a laughing stock! Who do I blame? Is it our impatience? Is it our lack of understanding and adjustment? Is it our material thoughts those are overcoming the softness of our heart? Whatever it is..it’s alarming! Of all the various bitter experiences of my life,the people concerned have been both men and women! So who do I blame? No one…..!!! I blame myself of not being intelligent enough to understand my loss through those people,in the right time… that’s it! My loss doesn’t mean that I will close all my windows and nurse a grudge against any gender in particular. Today I have very many friends who are women and I do respect them for who they are and would do and give everything for their support…same with the very close male friends I do have! I believe in co-existence and co-operation and equality.. and nothing beyond that! My parents……happily married for 3 decades now….whom I have hardly seen or heard quarrelling…whom I have always seen to give respect to each other’s space…whom I have always seen to co-exist even in troubled times…rock-solid…. are my inspiration to believe so……I just hope and aspire, I do get someone in my life who believes the same and co-exists happily….!! Though one is not desperate…but the search is on!!!

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MY ADDA WITH KANISHKA

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AS TRISHA ,MY DEAR FRIEND FROM ORKUT,HAD ASKED ME TO MEET KANISHKA,DURING THIS PERIOD IN HIS LIFE,FILLED WITH TURMOIL AND WRITE ABOUT HIM,SO DID I! GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH HIM,AFTER A LOT OF CAJOLING.HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED ME TO BE ON TIME,OTHERWISE THAT MIGHT IRRITATE HIM EVEN MORE! .....WAS ON TIME.HIS PARENTS WERE NOT THERE.RAIMA,HIS WIFE, ASKED ME TO WAIT IN THEIR SPACIOUS AND WELL DECORATED DRAWING ROOM,ON THE NORTHERN SIDE OF THEIR 2025 SQ.FT. APARTMENT,FILLED WITH SIGNS OF PROSPERITY ALL AROUND!!!QUITE IRONICAL,TAKING INTO CONSIDERATION,KANISHKA'S PRESENT JOBLESS FIASCO! AFTER 5 MINS,IN CAME KANISHKA,PRIM AND PROPER BUT,A BIT RESTLESS,A BIT IRRITATED,SENSING THAT I MIGHT IMPART UNWANTED ADVICE ON HOW HE SHOULD ACT IN THIS CHAOTIC SITUATION.I ASSURED HIM THAT IT WILL BE NOTHING BUT A PLAIN ADDA BETWEEN TWO VERY CLOSE ENTITIES AT HEART. HERE ARE THE EXCERPTS FROM THAT ADDA,WHICH HE HAS PERMITTED TO BE REPRODUCED IN MY BLOG: ME- SO?HOW IS LIFE? K- LIFE AT THIS MOMENT,IS AS INTRICATE AS A JALEBI YET TO BE DIPPED IN THE SYRUP! ME- BUT IT IS YOU WHO IS TO BE BLAMED FOR NOT TAKING A DIP IN THE SYRUP AND MAKE THE JALEBI SWEET AND EDIBLE! K- FOR ME THE RIGHT CONCENTRATION OF THE SUGARFREE SYRUP MATTERS A LOT.I JUST CANNOT LET MY LIFE, TAKE A DIP,JUST FOR THE HECK OF IT....JUST TO MAKE IT USELESSLY SWEET..I HAVE MY PRIORITIES! ME- AND WHAT ARE THEY? K- MY EDUCATION,EXPERIENCE,GOODWILL,PRAISEWORTHY WORK RECORD,MY DESIGNATION,MY PRINCIPLES! ME- OH!BUT IN TODAY'S TIME,DO YOU THINK ANYONE GIVES A DAMN ABOUT YOUR PRIORITIES?ESPECIALLY WHEN EVERYONE IS SEARCHING A SHORTCUT TO SUCCESS,CUTTING COST OVER QUALITY AND IS SATISFIED WITH JUST ABOUT OK-DOKEY EFFICIENCY?DON'T U THINK YOU ARE MAKING A MISTAKE BY NOT TAKING UP THE PRESENT JOB OFFERS...ATLEAST FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILY? K- NOT AT ALL!!WHAT I KNOW IS THAT I HAVE WORKED BLOODY HARD FOR WHATEVER I AM.I KNOW I AM BLOODY HONEST IN WHATEVER I HAVE DONE IN LIFE.I HAVEN'T TAKEN ANYONE'S FAVOUR.I HAVE LIVED EVERY BIT OF MY LIFE,AS PER MY MERITS.I HAVEN'T ATTEMPTED ANYTHING IN LIFE WHICH I CANNOT EXECUTE.....SO WHATEVER I DO WANT IN MY LIFE TO HAPPEN, SHOULD BE AND WILL HAPPEN AS PER MY EXECUTING ABILITIES,NOTHING MORE,NOTHING LESS!I HAVE STUDIED HARD ALL MY LIFE,I KNOW I AM A HARDWORKER,BETTER THAN MANY,I KNOW I CAN BE OF GREAT USE TO ANY I.T. COMPANY,IF THEY HIRE ME...SO GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD TAKE UP SOME JOB....ANY JOB...JUST BECAUSE I AM IN A DEPRESSION,WHICH DOESN'T JUSTIFY MY MERITS..WHICH IS NOT SUITABLE FOR ME???I AM NOT CONCERNED AT THIS MOMENT WITH WHO GIVES A DAMN FOR, ME AND MY DEDICATIÖN,PUNCTUALITY,DISCIPLINE OR NOT.I KNOW PEOPLE LAUGH AT ME FOR BEING A CLEANLINESS FREAK,FOR BEING STUBBORN,FOR BEING OR TRYING TO BE PERFECT,DISCIPLINED,PUNCTUAL..I DO NOT SEE ANYTHING WRONG IN THAT.NEITHER IT IS SOMETHING TO PAT MY BACK..THIS IS HOW I AM ...TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME!! ME- BUT THIS STUBBORNESS IS TAKING A TOLL ON YOUR FAMILY LIFE...AREN'T YOU CONCERNED WITH THAT? K- YES!OF COURSE I AM!!BUT I THINK THEY KNOW ME..THEY WILL UNDERSTAND AFTER THE INITIAL SHOCK PERIOD!!I HOPE THEY WILL!!BUT I AM TRYING MY BEST TO AVOID THE SHOCK FROM MUMMA ALEAST! ME- WHAT'S YOUR TAKE ON THE CONSTANT BICKERING BETWEEN YOUR MUMMA AND YOUR WIFE?I MEAN ,WHY DON'T YOU MAKE AN EFFORT TO STOP THAT?ESPECIALLY WHEN RAIMA SHARES A GREAT RAPPORT WITH YOUR DAD ON THE OTHER HAND!! K- WELL SOME THINGS ARE IMMORTAL..ETERNAL...SO LET THEM BE...BUT ON A SERIOUS NOTE...I DO TRY TO STOP THEM FROM DOING THIS TOM AND JERRY DRILL,EVERY TIME THEY SEE EACH OTHER...BUT...WOMEN POWER!!YOU SEE...INDOMITABLE!!I WILL TELL YOU A SECRET..AMONG ALL THESE QUARRELS OVER ANY TRIVIAL THINGS,BETWEEN MUMMA AND RAIMA(OH!THEY RHYME TOO!!),I ENJOY BEING LOVED AND CRAVED BY BOTH!I FEEL WANTED....LIKE A PRIZED POSESSION!!BUT YES..AT TIMES THEY DO GET ON MY NERVES...I GUESS I HAVE GOT USED TO THAT...ON THE FLIPSIDE,I WILL FEEL UNNERVED...SICK MAY BE... IF A DAY PASSSES WITHOUT MUMMA AND RAIMA GOING HAMMER AND TONGS!! ME- DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THAT MANY PEOPLE LOVE YOU FOR BEING THE WAY YOU ARE AND ARE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR JOBLESS STATE? K- ARE THEY?HMMM...REALLY??I THANK THEM.I ASK FOR THEIR GOOD WISHES!ALL MY BEST WISHES FOR THEM TOO.I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME TOMORROW,GOOD OR BAD...BUT I PLAN TO STAY THIS WAY FOREVER...I MEAN THIS IS THE PERSON I AM!! EVEN AT TIMES, WHEN I FEEL I AM DEFEATED BY THIS STRANGE,UNFAIR SYSTEM OF COMPROMISE ALL AROUND, THIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE FROM ALL THE PEOPLE AROUND ME WILL KEEP ME GOING...I AM SURE...NOW IF YOU PLEASE EXCUSE ME..I HAVE TO GO FOR YET ANOTHER INTERVIEW...YET ANOTHER ONE...I HAVE TO KEEP ON TRYING..SEE YOU....HAVE SOME TEA OR COFFEE BEFORE YOU LEAVE...DON'T WORRY BOBBY..I CAN STILL PROVIDE FOR A CUP OF THAT!!! HE WALKED AWAY,WITH A SMILE,WHICH I DIDN'T QUIET UNDERSTAND AND AWAY I CAME BACK TO MY HOME TO TELL THIS TO YOU ALL!!

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ABOUT KANISHKA'S ABSENCE AND COMEBACK

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THOUGH I AM OVERWHELMED BY THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND SUPPORT FROM ALL MY FRIENDS IN ORKUT,FACEBOOK AND OFFLINE, WHO WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE OF MY CHARACTER ‘KANISHKA’ IN ‘OGO BODHU SHUNDORI’,BUT AT THIS MOMENT I AM REALLY A BIT TIRED OF ANSWERING THE SAME QUESTIONS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN SINCE AUGUST-09,LIKE “WHY ISN’T KANISHKA SHOWN MORE OFTEN?..OR…WHY DOES HE HAVE SUCH A RARE APPEARANCE?…OR….WHY DID I ACCEPT THIS ROLE IF IT WAS OF NO IMPORTANCE?..ETC ETC…..!!

FIRST THINGS FIRST….. I HAVE NOTHING IN MY HANDS WHICH CAN CHANGE THE WAY THINGS ARE AT THIS MOMENT…IT IS TOTALLY A DISCRETION OF THE PRODUCTION AND DIRECTORIAL TEAM,GUIDED BY THE CHANNEL, WHO DECIDE,WHICH CHARACTER OR TRACK’S GOING TO RUN….WITH OR WITHOUT THE VOTE OR SUPPORT OF THE VIEWERS!!THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING THAT I CAN DO,APART FROM GIVING MY BEST SHOT OF WHATEVER OPPORTUNITIES THAT I AM GETTING TO ENACT KANISHKA…….. SECONDLY,IN A MEGASERIAL,COMPRISING OF SEVERAL STORYLINES,IT IS VERY COMMON FOR A CHARACTER OR A TRACK TO BE ECLIPSED FOR A PERIOD OF TIME ONLY TO BRING IT BACK,AGAIN.HERE ,THE MAKERS ARE THE BEST JUDGE,WITH THEIR VAST EXPERIENCE IN THIS FIELD. I DON’T KNOW, BUT THIS MAY BE A CAUSE!! BUT GENERALLY THIS HAPPENS DUE TO REASONS RANGING FROM UNPOPULARITY OF A TRACK OR AN ARTIST OR LOW TRPS OR ARTIST UNAVAILABILITY…WHICH IS NOT CLEARLY THE CASE HERE.....SO???? SO….IT’S THE SAME ANSWER YET AGAIN,IT’S TOTALLY THE CALL OF THE MAKERS WHO HAVE CREATED THE CHARACTER OR THE TRACK. I AM REALLY NOT CONCERNED OF WHO IS DOING WHAT…!!I AM SURE EVERYONE IS DOING THEIR JOBS!! WHAT I AM ALWAYS CONCERNED ABOUT, IS MY WORK…BIG OR SMALL…I TRY TO GIVE MY BEST ANYWHERE ,EVERYWHERE. WHAT I KNOW IS,I HAVE SAID “YES” TO MR.RAVI OJHA,BECAUSE I CANNOT SAY “NO” TO HIM AND BECAUSE HE HAS EXPOSED MY SPARSELY LIT CAREER TO THE LIMELIGHT, THROUGH HIS SUPERHIT 'KHELA'..... AND………… BECAUSE ‘KANISHKA’ IS A DELIGHTFUL ROLE TO PLAY…CHALLENGING…NEAR TO 'MY' HEART…… AND EVIDENTLY 'OTHER'S' TOO!! … AND BECAUSE I KNOW IT FROM THE INNER CORE OF MY HEART THAT NOTHING GOES WASTED IF YOU ARE HONEST TO YOUR EFFORTS IN LIFE…..A CLEAR EXAMPLE BEING, EVEN IF VERY FEW SCENES OF KANISHKA WERE SHOWN TILL DATE,IT HAS ALREADY STRUCK A CHORD WITH PEOPLE….TO THE EXTENT THAT, I AM BECOMING REALLY TIRED OF REASONING MY ABSENCE FROM THE SERIAL,REPEATEDLY, ONLINE AND OFFLINE TO ALL THOSE WHO MISS HIM BADLY ONSCREEN!!THAT’S ENCOURAGING!! BUT ,HERE I MUST SAY THAT VERY SOON,'KANISHKA' WILL BE BACK OR RATHER IS ALREADY BACK,WITH AN INTERESTING TURN IN HIS LIFE,WHICH I AM SURE WILL BE LIKED BY EVERYONE. THANX FOR BEING WITH ME ..ALWAYS…ACTUALLY "THANK YOU" IS A VERY SMALL WORD VIS-À-VIS THE STRENGTH YOU HAVE GIVEN ME…SOME STRANGELY FIND IT VERY FORMAL…BUT TRUELY..THAT IS MY GENUINE FEELING TO ALL THE LOVE, YOU PEOPLE HAVE SHOWN FOR 'KANISHKA'…THANX AGAIN.

KEEP WATCHING!!

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