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Three decades ago a beautiful little girl named Sudipta Banerjee,
who had just passed out of school,
was married to Dr.Nityananda Chakraborty...
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5 years after that i was born,in a sprawling joint family.
But when i was around 8years old,we three had to break off from there.Ma and Pa had to take this tough decision,to build up a nuclear family,but all for my better upbringing,which would have been totally impossible there.I really do not know if i have grown up into a good humanbeing or not,whether i have grown up at all or not,BUT THERE WAS NO LOOSE ENDS IN MA AND PA'S ATTEMPT WHATSOEVER,TO BRING ME UP SO,THROUGH GREAT SACRIFICES AND GREATER HARDSHIPS!
All through my growing up years,
i could feel their immense urge to make me a perfect humanbeing,more than anything else.I could feel their mammoth contribution in my life,on every bend.
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I could feel the selflessness of these two humanbeings and their greatness. I tried to find a way,all my life,to repay a fraction of what they have done for me and are still doing,but i guess that is impossible.PAYBACK IS/WAS/WILL BE A MYTH...BUT WAS LUCKY ENOUGH TO GET AN OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE IT A TRY...THROUGH THE GRIMMEST OF TIMES!
It was 8th August,2010. It was just like any other regular Sunday. Thankfully i didn't have any shoot on that day. Ma had cooked absolutely yummy 'mustard hilsa',which we had for lunch with zest. Ma and Pa were to attend a family ceremony in the evening. They were getting prepared to set forth,when suddenly Ma felt an ache in her stomach! It was 3pm. We tried to treat it at first with some medication at home,but the pain increased to unbearable limit,when we decided to shift her to a local nursing home. Didn't realize then,that this 'shift' would shift the very stability of my life forever!
We were very sure that it was nothing but an attack of stones in the gall bladder that would be cured by an ordinary laser treatment….but God had something more in store(oh!!that rhymed too!!).
On the 3rd day the consulting surgeon,sensed something very very wrong with Ma,as she developed heavy breathing problems,acute shortage of oxygen,heavily fluctuating blood pressure,blood sugar gone for a toss at Eden Gardens..heavy sweating,the body turning to blue..royal blue,swelling of the whole body and she… constantly jabbering things which didn’t make any sense…with eyes popping out…she was unrecognizable overnight!! The surgeon requested us to shift her immediately to someplace with multispeciality amenities and a ventilator,as fast as possible! That we did and took her to one of the finest hospitals in Kolkata..KOTHARI MEDICAL HOSPITAL(atleast that is what, me and my people knew at that point of time...).
She was admitted in the ICCU under DR.SABYASACHI PATTNAIK,
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who after seeing the very very serious condition, categorically asked me to be mentally prepared on August 14th, as… probably August 15th would be the end to it all,but he added that he and his team will give their best to save Ma…rest is on God!
Ma was suffering from an attack of ACUTE PANCREATITIS,WITH A PORTION OF THE PANCREAS DEVELOPING NECROSIS(ROTTEN)AND MULTIORGAN FAILURE!!THE BRAIN, HEART,LUNGS,DIGESTIVE SYSTEM,KIDNEYS EVERYTHING HAD STOPPED FUNCTIONING AND THE SODIUM/POTASSIUM LEVELS IN THE BLOOD HAD GONE HAYWIRE,FOR A CERTAIN ‘MR.PANCREAS’ DOING ALL THE ANTICS!! SURELY THIS ‘MP’ RULED OUR LIVES THEN!
On August 14th after I had that ‘EVENTFUL,FATEFUL’ chat with Dr.Pattnaik, I went to shoot some very vital,heavily emotional and comic scenes of the megaserial ‘Ogo Bodhu Shundori’ and cried my heart heart out in the make-up room,all alone…suddenly this thought struck me that AUGUST 15TH COULD BE ‘MY’ INDEPENDENCE DAY, FROM THE WARMTH AND CARE OF SOMEONE, WHOM I HOLD THE MOST VALUABLE PERSON IN MY LIFE…..AND THE IRONY OF LIFE WAS THAT,I WAS CELEBRATING IT, WITH A COMEBACK OF MY CHARACTER ‘KANISHKA’ IN THE MEGASERIAL IN A DIFFERENT LOOK ALL TOGETHER! While shooting that day,I realized,for the first time,how difficult it was to be someone else infront of the camera,when your body and mind are not insync!! But strangely those scenes remain to be, some of my best scenes in OBS,from my acting point of view,as pointed out by my ardent friend online, Ms.Trisha Mitra!!
After the shoot was over latenight,I parked myself out of Kali Mandir,and cried infront of another of my Ma and asked her,implored her,begged her not to steal Ma away from me!! I really have so much in store ,still to do for Ma! Till now I had brought nothing but worries for her!! I couldn’t give her an extended family still!! I still couldn’t give her an answer of pride that I did a bloody right decision to leave the career of a marine engineer and took up an actor’s struggle!! Call it superstition but Strangely and SURELY something happened that night between me and MA KALI in that mandir…I could feel that she was speaking through her eyes…an awkward feeling..an overwhelming feeling that someone was all over my body,giving me solace….asking me to cool down and imploring me in return to give an attempt to save MA,my best shot…not to breakdown…because there is Pa back at home,whom I had to take care of too,who was crying everynight,on the verge of losing his soulmate of three decades!!MAY BE IT CAN BE REFUTED AS ALL THIS WAS JUST MY MENTAL STATE AT THAT POINT OF TIME…BUT BELIEVE ME,THERE WAS MORE TO IT THAN JUST ME CRYING INFRONT OF AN IDOL IN A MANDIR!!IT WAS A MIRACLE…IT WAS HEAVENLY!!
I decided not to shed a single tear again from that point of time and from August 15th onwards started a battle ….long …corrupt …physical …mental …medical …political…FINANCIAL….with Ma on one side and Me on the other! I was a new man,as if someone had recharged my batteries,brainwashed me,told me “YOU WILL NOT LOSE HER!! BUT I WILL HELP YOU ONLY IF YOU HELP YOURSELF”. After that, many other doctors/nurses in the medical team said the same thing that the chances were very slight to save MA but I just didn’t believe them,didn’t feel like!!I knew that I will win….i just have to try…with all I have….after all this is my chance to do for Ma,who has done for me all her life!!I said “no” to nothing and did everything…EVERYTHING…that the doctors asked me to do…many a times feeling a ride…but went on with it!!I didn’t ask for anyone’s help…I am always like that…it gives me great pleasure to help myself but Thoughts occurred “what next, if the resources end,funds dry up,we may have to sell our property?”! I did express this anxiety to many friends and associates and funny things started happening….people whom I thought were friends just vanished in thin air…not even asking how MA was, as a formality!! Ha ha!! I am sure that they were afraid that I may ask for their help!! Good for me!! THIS MOMENTARY CURSE OF GOD WAS A BLESSING IN DISGUISE TO MAKE ME RECOGNIZE WHO MY TRUE FRIENDS,WELL WISHERS ARE, BOTH IN GOOD AND BAD TIMES!!
Days passed by with sleepless nights and hectic days,along with my shoot,running around for medicines,blood,chasing doctors,arranging personal attendants….and the irony of it all was below in the reception area and other parts in the hospital, where people saw only ‘Kanishka’ in me and smiled at me,passed funny comments at me alias ‘Koko’,clicked pictures with me..etc.when I was fighting with my Ma’s life and mine too!! Daily expenses reached the sky and beyond, per day….! Things looked tougher! But I fought on…as if possessed…intoxicated with life to save Ma’s!!
Every dawn as i would return from the hospital via Kali Mandir and as i would enter my home,the first thing that would strike me was a smell...the smell of Ma...everywhere...in every corner of the house! Every object had her touch! i would try to get some sleep, only to be waken up by Ma, calling me for help!! ACTUALLY THE EFFECT OF SOMETHING UNBEARABLE WAS IN MY SUBCONSCIOUS STATE OF MIND!IT WAS THE REGULAR,GHASTLY SIGHT OF MY EVER ACTIVE,CHEERFUL MA,BEING TIED UP TO HER BED...HANDS AND LEGS,VENTILATOR PIPES IN HER MOUTH,STRETCHING HER LIPS DOWNWARDS,NUMEROUS CHANNELS ALL OVER HER BODY,INNUMERABLE MARKS AND SCARS OF INJECTIONS ALL OVER...AND SHE,IN A DELIRIOUS,DISBALANCED STATE,ASKING ME FOR HELP...ASKING ME TO UNSHACKLE HER!! AT THAT MOMENT OF TIME,MY HEART BROKE INTO THOUSAND PIECES EVERY DAY..EVERY NIGHT!IT IS AN IMAGE OF BONDAGE WHICH WILL HAUNT ME FOREVER!
The ICCU here was very strange,as to what i had thought or seen in previous hospitals. Here janitors spoke on top of their voices,cracking jokes in the mother tongue,medical personnels,especially the nurses are predominantly malayali,by birth and hence do not understand bengali...i shudder to imagine the state of the patients who are bengali by birth and in such critical state but cannot express themselves to the nurses!! The visiting hours are the funniest and soon the time to visit critical patients,become a leading fish market,with no control over the human traffic! Anyone and everyone can come anytime,forging his/her identity and visit the patients AND BY PATIENTS I MEAN,CRITICAL PATIENTS IN THE ICCU!
A similar incident happened to Ma!!When we were there one evening,we heard that an obnoxious,repulsive,future medical personnel,known to us,visited Ma slyly in ICCU,in non-visiting hours(for reasons unknown),went through all the wrong records on a wrong bed,spread the news with all the wrong informations, that this buffoon had gathered, from the records of a different patient's record.....AND ALL WITHOUT OUR PERMISSION!!
......AND GOD HELP THOSE IN SUCH HOSPITALS WHO ARE HANDED PRESCRIPTIONS AFTER PRESCRIPTIONS AFTER PRESCRIPTIONS...DAILY....AMOUNTING TO THOUSANDS...AND THOUSANDS OF RUPEES....MANY A TIMES THE SAME MEDICINES AND OTHER STUFFS,OVER AND OVER AGAIN!!
ONE FEELS EMOTIONALLY RAPED AT THESE MOMENTS WHEN ONE CANNOT OBJECT,EVEN IF ONE FEELS HE/SHE IS BEING DUPED BECAUSE THE LIFE OF HIS/HER NEAR AND DEAR ONES ARE IN THE HANDS OF THOSE WHO HAND THESE PRESCRIPTIONS,MANY OF WHOM ARE FAR FROM BEING HUMAN ANYMORE!!
Slowly but surely and miraculously(as the doctors there said…Ma was a 1 in a 100000 cases to have survived!)Ma started responding to the gazillion amount of powerful intravenous antibiotics,dialysis,blood transfusions! She was 1/3rd the humanbeing she was 40 days before, by the time I brought her home before Durga Puja on 14th September…!
(MA PA'S 25TH ANNIVERSARY)
By that time the whole ordeal took a heavy toll on my body too and I fell seriously ill…serious viral attack…temperatures ranging as much as 104*F…extreme vitamin deficiency…dangerous cramps all over…dead weak…and 12 kgs lesser!!
But the show must go on…and it went on…with all the good wishes of my friends online and their blessings!
The people who came forward during this crisis,with their involuntary helping hands and encouragement and regular mental strength and for whom I will be obliged all my life are:
DR.NITYANANDA CHAKRABORTY(PA)
MRS SUSMITA BANERJEE(MY SISTER)MY BORDIBHAI
MR NIHAR RANJAN BANERJEE(MY UNCLE)
THE RAVI OJHA PRODUCTION
MRS SUMITA BHATTACHARYA(MY ONE AND ONLY SUMITADI)
MRS MOUMITA GUPTA(MY ONE AND ONLY MOUMITA DI)
MR DIPANKAR BANERJEE(MY UNCLE)
MR RAJAT BANERJEE(MY UNCLE)
MS NILANTIKA BANERJEE(MY SISTER)
MRS SHANTILATA BANERJEE(MY GRAND MA)
MR AVIJIT SARKAR(MY BROTHER)
MRS.DOLA SARKAR(MY SISTER-IN-LAW)
DR.BASUDEB MUKHERJEE(MY ONE AND ONLY BD DA)
BANCHHITA MASHI(MA’S CHILDHOOD FRIEND)
And the rest of my family….
And ofcourse:
MRS MAMATA SHANKAR (MY DEAREST AND ONE AN ONLY MOMO DI)
MR CHANDRODAY GHOSH(MY DEAREST BAPIDA)
And two of my left hand and right hand, who virtually grew up in my lap, NOW in their,bike riding car driving teens…my bachcha pyaonpyaons,who were there with me all the while,even if I didn’t want them to be with me and urged them to concentrate on their studies:
ARJUN(MY BROTHER)MY ONE AND ONLY BABAI
SAURAV(MY BROTHER)MY ONE AND ONLY RONNY
And people from the hospital,a very difficult place,more difficult,when one is a media personnel and a known face and people try to extract the last dime one has and more often than not evaluate the screen persona rather than the actual humanbeing…they were the ones there,who stood by me in a very very tough situation and helped me in everyway possible,as if I belonged to their families:
DR.SABYASACHI PATTNAIK
DR.AJAY KUMAR PAL
SISTER RIBHA SINHA
SISTER SEEMA NANDI
MRS JAYATI SANYAL(RECEPTION)
Among others…..
THERE IS NOTHING THAT I CAN DO, TO RETURN THEIR CARE AND LOVE AND SUPPORT TOWARDS ME IN THIS TOUGH PERIOD…EVERY GIFT ..EVERY NOTE OF THANKFULNESS IS INSIGNIFICANT…I JUST WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW THAT SELFLESS,GENUINE PEOPLE LIKE THEM STILL EXIST…THAT IS MY WAY OF SHOWING MY GRATITUDE TOWARDS THEM!!
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(MA-5years old)
THOUGH I HAVE INNUMERABLE COMPLAINTS AGAINST THE HOSPITAL,THOUGH I HAD TO TAKE HUGE FINANCIAL AND PROFESSIONAL RISKS DURING THIS TIME,THOUGH I HAD TO GO THROUGH A SERIOUS PHYSICAL CONDITION MYSELF ETC. BUT WHAT MATTERS TO ME THE MOST,AT THIS MOMENT IS,.....ME AND MA ARE TOGETHER ONCE MORE AND ICU IS ONLY A HELLISH NIGHTMARE OF THE PAST!
FEBRUARY 8TH---2011--SARASWATI PUJA---
MA WORE THE BLUE/WHITE DHAKAI SAREE THAT I WANTED HER TO WEAR FOR THE DURGA PUJA-OCTOBER 2010....
BUT AS SHE WAS BEDRIDDEN, SHE COULDN'T WEAR IT THEN AND I WASN'T SURE SHE WILL EVER WEAR IT!!!!...
BUT GOD HAS BEEN KIND....
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